Amusing quotes about getting old:
Looking 50 is great if you’re 60. Joan Rivers
Age is a high price to pay for maturity. Tom Stoppard
No man is ever old enough to know better. Holbrook Jackson
Time may be a great healer but it’s a lousy beautician. Author Unknown
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. George Burns
A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. John Barrymore
You’re only young once but you can stay immature indefinitely. Ogden Nash
Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative. Maurice Chevalier
You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, “See if you can blow this out. Jerry Seinfeld
Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. Author Unknown
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of "Sports Illustrated" because there are fewer articles to read. George Burns
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘“At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas. Claude Pepper
You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope
He’s so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money upfront. George Burns
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. Billy Crystal
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. Kurt Vonnegut
There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. John Mortimer
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. Woody Allen
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. Sir Norman Wisdom
I don’t do alcohol anymore. I can get the same effect just standing up fast. Author Unknown
None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm. Henry David Thoreau
Talk about getting old. I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. Joan Rivers
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. Larry Lorenzoni
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen
If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself. Author Unknown
