Keep your ideas to yourself – a moral tale

A pride of lions was sleeping in the shade of an acacia tree. A lioness awoke, her ears pricked; she sat up and surveyed the area. Coming towards them was a human being wearing a khaki drill shirt and shorts with a floppy sun hat on his head. A poke from her paw, enough to kill a child, woke the lion. The growl that went with it alerted him and he too sat up and did a rapid reconnaissance of the plain with his eyes.

“Missionary ?”, he said.

“Don’t think so”, was the reply, “They went out years ago ”.

“Tourist then ?”

“They usually come in those smelly cars”.


The pair sat and waited.

“Ahem. I hope I am not disturbing you. My name is Algernon Cholmondely Beauchamp-Witherspoon”, said the new arrival.

“I am the President of the Lower Mildew and Lichen Parva Vegan Society, and my members have asked me to tour the game parks and endeavour to persuade the carnivores like yourselves to give up eating meat and to look instead at consuming only leaves and twigs, and any edible roots you can find. I am myself a Vegan, and I find that my health has been considerably improved since I became one.”

“Hmmm. Not much meat on him”, observed the lioness quietly to her husband.

“Never look a gift meal in the mouth”, he whispered, “He walked here on his own. Saves a deal of running about”.

“How do you feel about my suggestion”, said Algernon Cholmondely Beauchamp-Witherspoon, “Do you think you might take it up ?”

“NOW”, said the lion.

The lioness dispatched Algernon Cholmondely Beauchamp-Witherspoon with one blow. The rest of the pride woke up at the smell of fresh meat, and after the lion had had first bite they all fell to.

“Bit stringy”.

“Not going to last us very long”.

“Eat up and don’t grumble”.

As they lay dozing after their repast the lion observed sleepily, “Do you know, there may be something in this Vegan business after all. I thought he had a very delicate flavour. Keep your eyes open for Vegans boys and girls”.

With which piece of patriarchal advice, he let out a loud snore and fell asleep.

About Ian

Retired Clergyman, and former RAF person. Lives in Kirkcudbright, SW Scotland. One wife. Two children, three grandchildren and two great grandchildren scattered across UK, Europe and the USA. Long time member of the European Movement, and latterly of the Scottish National Party. ""Here's to us; who is as good as us? Damn few, and they're all dead"
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