Colonoscopy . . . Part the First

I am sitting in our living room with a blanket of my knees, the rain is beating on the windows, and the wind is making weird noises round the house. It is the 28th of June, just a week after midsummer’s day ! I had a bit of a snack lunch, some cream crackers and a mug of Bovril because I am now on no solid food until late tomorrow afternoon. Tonight at 5.00 pm I mix up some jollop called Moviprep and start taking it at 6.00 pm. Thereafter I expect to be in some discomfort for a time – “stay close to a toilet” say the instructions. Then when tonight’s efforts have worn off I get to do the same all over again tomorrow morning in the pious hope that all will be finished by 12.00 noon when a taxi is coming to pick me up. Then, once at the hospital, I have to try to get to the Short Stay Unit to await my fate. Since this is somewhere up on the first floor the hospital have assured me that there will be a volunteer somewhere willing and able to wheel me there. On my recent visits, volunteers have been noticeable by their absence so I am rather dreading this bit of the afternoon. “Just ask at Reception” we were told on the telephone, so watch this space.